If I died tonight what would you do?

I must winge where no one from school can see, live journal is not personal anymore where I can complain and have senpai answer my questions...sigh...I miss dozie senpai beyond all description, at least he lent some semblance to my life....now its just a topsy turvy roller coaster ride, I really wish to just run up to him and give him a hug and cuddle and stay that way forever....but I won't be seeing him for a while yet....definitely not this summer, maybe next or in winter...I feel deprived of I don't know what, but I feel so empty, so without something.....

I feel like dancing to no music, crying without tears and just being crazy, I didn't mean to push lieve to the edge but I didn't know what to do, this relationship she's in is so different from her previous one......I feel unwanted though I know its all in my head I'm just so......depressed......