If I died tonight what would you do?

blah
I wasn't able to make it to e debate on friday
my parents made me go home for dinner since chitchat wasn't going
sooooooo sad....
I wonder who won?
it was at unity secondary
I went to e previous debate which we WON!!!!!!
at 1st toa payoh secondary (however u spell it)
did u know tt siti's mom is e principal of tt school!!!!!!
I had no idea...

anw this is for jj:
did u know my bro knows samuel!!
omg! I had no idea till e other day!
anw he also might know hammy
wats hammy's cca?
cause he was saying tt he knew a hammy tt did german
but we rn't sure if its e same person

anw ladidadida
blah jus me crapping here...
oh yeah! last night my bro n my mom got new hp!!!!
anw they r both sony ericssons!
n they have java n a camera n MP3 player n like internet connection n more!!!
their hp's r like e lastest ones...except they rn't 3G
f.y.i tts 3rd generation meaning very very very advanced!
my dad says tt in abt maybe 1 or 2 years
I can get a new hp which is 3G
so tt'll be really really cool!!!!!
lol...I'm being very lame lately....
blahdy blahdy blah
anw g2g!
ttfn!
Ta Ta For Now....
tt was for if ur brain is like really underveloped n u don't know wat it is...lol...laterz

I can't believe I've been telling e truth more
the world is changing
for e good of mankind?
or for e worst of mankind?
so many questions
with no answers
how do u know whats right
and what wrong
if I could I would tell u
but its out of e question
HE made me promise not to tell
u all know HIM and love HIM
HE is always there for everyone
He is always there for me
HE's suppose to be my best friend
HE is my guiding star
HE always has a listening ear
HE will be here from alpha to e omega
but HE made me promise not to tell anyone

~*[The sweetest revenge is forgiveness]*~ tts wat HE said

could I do it
HE is making me do it
HE is e reason for all I do
HE won't leave me alone
HE won't get out of my head

You're the kind of friend who always bends when I'm broken
Like remember when
You took my heart and put it back together again
I've been wasting time with clueless guys
But now it's over
Let me tell you why
I'm through
I've meet someone new
Just like you

You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the guy
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

You're the kind of guy who's hands and mind send shivers up and down my spine
You took my heart and put it back together again.
You're the kind of guy that blows my mind
But now it's my turn
You've been right in front of me
Everything I need
Why didn't i see

You're it
You're the ultimate
It's Automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the guy
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

was jus lookin at our last year class blog
its so sad
it brought tears to my eyes
we said we'd be together forever
wat happened...
we barely say two words to each other
except those bear few
we said we'd be through thick n thin together
guess where we r now...
nothing close to tt
it began in sec 1
wif tt whole lee min business
wat happened...
it put a crack in our hearts
it tore us apart
no one even bothered to tell me wat started it
wat happened...
because of u guys
I never listened to my heart
I never did wat my conciounce said
it said to stop
it said I wasn't worth it anymore
I wanted to end my life before I came to be in crescent
I was a LONER
I was ALONE
because of u guys I strived to live
wat happened...
u guys showed me happiness
u guys showed me another way to live
u guys showed me trust
u showed me wat it was to have friends
n not be alone
wat happened...
things began to change
jamie n lynette
meena n chitchat
nandhu n iswarya
yu sheng n gen li
siti, sar n war
all those groups
in jus one class...
I won't mention them all
we WERE together in sec 1
but then times changed
our lives became our CCA's
our lives ceased to exist in our class
we weren't together in sec 2
though we claimed we were
wat happened...
our hearts changed for e worst
we learned wat betreyal meant
we learned not everyone could be trusted
our naive n innocence lost
wat happened...
I lost faith in u guys
we rn't watching each others backs anymore
wat I say is conflicting
because I've seen u strive for one another
yet it must be said n heard
admit it to yourselves
wat happened...
I've heard whispers
I know most of u doubt it
u believe only e truth
cause its true
we weren't together
we will never be together ever again
not now, not ever
I've seen ur hearts
pure n true
yet now we can't come together
there's smt holding us back
I know wat it is
but u have to find out for urselves

hey...I know I should change my blog skin since I've had e same one for like a year now..
but I mean I'm in e middle of my common test...
plus I'm actually studying...blah...I really hope I did well for ss, chem n eng...
blah...I'm gonna try so hard this year to set my life straight..
I'm gonna not try n take any detours...
oh yeah plus I'm gonna try beinga vegetarian again...hmmm...wonder how tt'll be...
maybe I should do tt whole silent treatment thing again like in sec 2...
I'm still a joke to everyone I guess...
anw was talkin wif atikah n mas on how our parents punish us...well to be more precise our dads...
mas is soooo lucky...her dad lets her choose her own punishment example my newspaper or hanger n other things...
well atikah n me r in e same boat...our dads jus do wateva...
hmmm...atikah said her dad hits her wif a hanger...
I'm glad my dad has never heard of tt...
though its weird only my dad ever hit me wif a shoe...oh yeah! plus a vacuum cleaner...yep can't forget tt...hehe...atikah n mas r sooo lucky!
lol...well...yep then I was wif watari on fri while she had some softball practise...it was soooooo cool! I gotta help her do her trng...well sorta...all I did was toss e ball to her over n over n over again...no biggy!..lol...it was fun anw!
anw...I jus heard this new name which I think is soooooo cool! its Kyoka! its frm e native americans...when I have children I wanna name my daughter tt! it sounds sooooo cool! it jus rolls off ur tongue! Kyo-ka! its soooo cool!
lol...well I'm trying hard to do well in my studies! hope all my hard work pays off! well talk to u guys laterz!

ha...I finally passed french...its only a test but I passed by half a mark...
I got 7 and a half...I mean its not great but for me tts really really good!
nothing much going on...
hmmm...I like all my teachers except mdm kaur...she's nice n all but...
I think its her teaching methods...they rn't perfected...
well...I failed chem n physics...I can't believe I actually passed bio!
oh well...I dont really have much time before my parents come back so this has gotta be quick...
I think my mom suspects smt between me n Ben...
oh well...he's gone now so she doesn't really hafta worry...
hmmm....I'm appyling for UWC sometime this month...
my mom's putting me on e waiting list...
lol...at e international schl I was an A student...now I'm a barely passing student...
e irony of life...
I mean no offence but e science at SAS is way ahead of wat we're doing at crez..
I already learned abt cells in pri. 6...n also we already started dissecting things...example a sheeps heart, a frog, n a squid...
lol...
well...nothin much goin on...oh yeah...
I haven't been having e feeling of wanting to commit suicide for a while...
I jus realised I never mentioned it to u guys...oh well...
ha...death follows me every where...
its not my fault...
I always hurt those I love...n I mean physically...
like they brake their bones or smt...
watever...
wats wif me...theres smt wrong...
is everyone always like this?
or is it only me...
well...laterz...my parents r coming...

is this a dream
if it is please
don't wake me from this high
I'd become
comfortably numb
until you opened up my eyes
to what it's like
when everythings right
oh I can't believe
you found me
when no one else was looking
how did you know just where I would be
yeah you broke through all of my confusion
the ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
you found me
so here we are
and that's pretty far
when you think of where we've been
no going back
I'm fading out
all that has faded me within
you're by my side
now everythings fine
I can believe
you found me
when no one else was looking
how did you know just where I would be
yeah you broke through all of my confusion
the ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
you found me
I was hiding
till you came along
and showed me where I belong
you found me
when no one else was looking
how did you know just where I would be
yeah you broke through all of my comfusion
the ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
the good and the bad and the things in between
you found me

ello wello
I'm 15...
let's savour e moment...
wow...I didn't think I'd make it this far...can't believe wats happening...
I mean I PASSED! I passed all my tests! well at least e one's tt I've gotten back...
lets c...A maths I have 14/20, then E maths is 13/20...eventhing else I dunno...
wow...I feel so proud of myself...I mean common...tt's e best I've done so far including last year!
hmmm...nothin much goin on...well oh yeah!
I think Daniel Mazengarb has a gf...cause u should c his ph! it has soooooooooo many sms's frm jus this one girl!
lol, then me n emily yap where teasing him abt it...
lol...fyi Daniel Mazengarb was e first guy I ever had a crush on...but then I realized it was nothing...n oh yeah...I never told him...it would jus make it to akward like it is wif nicholas n me now...
anw I chatted wif Ben earlier...
he says tt e private schl he's going to is very hard...
lol poor him...I really sympathise...
hmmm...nothing interesting happening...
my mom got me this really pretty skirt for my b'day...
its got black butterflies on it...maybe one day I'll show u guys when I bother to put pics on my blog...but I'm too lazy right now...
lol...laterz!